The+real+story

 O'Brien says that “Speaking of Courage” was written at the request of Norman Bowker who, three years after the story was written, hung himself in the YMCA. O'Brien says that in 1975, right before Saigon finally collapsed, he received a seventeen-page, handwritten letter from Bowker saying that he couldn't find a meaningful use for his life after the war. He worked several short-lived jobs and lived with his parents. At one point he enrolled in junior college, but he eventually dropped out. In his letter, Bowker told O'Brien that he had read his first book, //If I Die in a Combat Zone,// and that the book had brought back a great deal of memories. Bowker then suggested that O'Brien write a story about someone who feels that Vietnam robbed him of his will to live—he said he would write it himself but he couldn't find the words. O'Brien explains that when he received Bowker's letter he thought about how easily he transitioned from Vietnam to graduate school at Harvard University. He thought that without writing, he himself might have been paralyzed. While he was working on a new novel entitled //Going After Cacc-iato,// O'Brien thought of Bowker's suggestion and began a chapter titled “Speaking of Courage.” But, following Bowker's request, he did not use Bowker's name. He substituted his own hometown scenery for Bowker's and he omitted the story of the sewage field and the rain and Kiowa's death in favor of his own protagonist's story. The writing was easy, and he published the piece as a separate short story. Later, O'Brien realized that the postwar piece had no place in //Going After Cacciato,// a war novel, and that in order to be successful, the story would have to stand on its own in truth, no matter how much the prospect frightened O'Brien. When the story was anthologized a year later, O'Brien sent a copy to Bowker, who was upset about the absence of Kiowa. Eight months later Bowker hung himself. A decade later, O'Brien has revised the story and has come to terms with it—he says the central incident, about the night on the Song Tra Bong and the death of Kiowa, has been restored. But he contends that he does not want to imply that Bowker did //not// have a lapse of courage that was responsible for the death of Kiowa.